Let us discuss the topic of Overcoming the Fear of Failure and Moving Forward
There are many people that are so afraid of failure that they decide to not take a crack at the task that they want to accomplish, and they dismiss trying to do it all together.
That’s because the Fear of Failure is a subconscious decision that your failure would be more then you could bear, and it was your minds way of avoiding the possibility of the pain of such failure.
Please, don’t let that discourage you so early in our discussion. Why do I say this?
You need to realize that many of us has experienced this at one time or another. Fear is something that exist in all living things. It is an instinct within us that can be positive or negative. The Fear of Failure will cause us to stand still and not move forward. Or it can propel us into action.
So when we let fear keep us from moving forward, we are allowing that fear to keep us from achieving our true potential, and missing out on some very good or even great possibilities that lie ahead for us.
I want to delve more deeply into the entity of the Fear of Failure. We will discuss what causes it, and what we can do to over power it. This will allow you to achieve true success in your life as well as in your career or any endeavor you wish to pursue.
So Now We Need To Ask, What Causes the Fear of Failure?
To understand what causes the Fear of Failure we need to determine what failure really is. You see failure has many different definitions. That is because we all believe differently, and have many different values that are important to us. A failure to one may be a learning experience or stepping stone to another.
We all have a feeling of fear at some time or another. It is when that fear is so strong that it keeps us from achieving our goals and going forward, that is when it becomes “Fear of Failure“.
Fear of Failure can be brought on by things that we experienced as a child, teenager or as an adult and had a traumatic experience so intense it brought on the Fear of Failure. And we can carry this with us every day of our life.
How Is The Fear of Failure Experienced?
There are many differently ways that you may experience the Fear of Failure. We will discuss some of them here.
- You’re a Perfectionist: And because of this your personality only allows you to be perfect in everything that you do. And in your subconscious mind you feel that you can not achieve perfection in the task you’re about to do. So you tend to carry things too far. You set standards too hard to reach. And when your work doesn’t come up to those imposable standards you just throw in the towel and decide to not do it at all.
- You tend to have low Self Esteem: Research has given us some key differences between people that have high or low self esteem.
Here is an example, those with high self esteem tend to focus on personal improvement and growth. Those with low self esteem tend to focus on not making mistakes in their life activities.
Low self esteem has been related to symptoms such as depression, or being troubled by failure, as well as tend to see activities and events as negative rather than positive.
For example, they will perceive something non critical as critical. They tend to experience low levels of confidence and tend to have more social anxiety.
- You tend to Sabotage yourself: You tell yourself that’s way to difficult or that is something you can’t do. You tell yourself that you will just fail at it any way.
We all have experienced negative self conversation in our conscious minds, as well as in our subconscious at some time or another. What you have to understand is that this can lead to self sabotage and will cause us to not reach or achieve our dreams and goals.
The scary part is that most of the time we don’t even realize it is happening. So what do we do? We contribute our failure to being inadequate, and incapable of doing the task we would like to do. Thus strengthening the negative messages we are sending ourselves.
And guess what happens! We find ourselves trapped in a self sabotaging cycle that is very difficult to break.
You know that You’re self sabotaging your self when you come to a halt when you are trying to move forward, or trying to achieve your goals, and you don’t even know why!
You have the desire, the ability, and the skill. But there is something that is keeping you from moving forward.
You know that you are self sabotaging your self when you feel that you can’t do something that you know it is something that you should be able to do or that you want and need to do it.
- You tend to Procrastinate: You know that you should be doing something or working on something, but you keep putting it off over and over again.
You start many projects or activities, but you never get around to completing any of them. You feel unmotivated or you feel that you are unable to continue even when you have many interesting possibilities before you.
- You have a feeling of being Worthless: You tend to let others put you down, or you take misguided or unfair criticism to heart.
You tend to build up other peoples success and achievements, but tear your own down.
- You tend to Worry: You fret over things that are not very important.
You doubt yourself, wondering if your abilities are up to the task at hand even when you know you have the capabilities to perform the task.
You start worrying about if you become successful what will your friends and family think about you, and will they still want to associate with you.
You may start feeling anxious and stressed out, or even depressed. It may cause you to have anxiety attacks knowing that what You’re experiencing is keeping you from accomplishing things that are very important to you.
- You begin to feel Anger: You find yourself speaking in an aggressive tone rather than in a positive manor when communicating with others.
This begins to destroy your relationships with those around you as well as those you come in contact with. And in many cases even your loved ones.
You Must Overcome Your Self Sabotaging Behavior!
This is a must. What ever is causing your Self Sabotaging behavior stemming from your Fear of Failure and Moving Forward must be overcome if you are going to be successful, and it must be done now.
Because if you don’t you will continue to go deeper and deeper down the tunnel of despair. You will become more and more discouraged and frustrated. It will cause anger with in you. And that will keep you from succeeding in that which you want to accomplish to set you free from this burden.
How do You Break The Self Sabotage Cycle Stemming From Your Fear Of Failure and Keeping You From Moving Forward?
- Start by tracking your negative thinking: Give thought to what you are saying to yourself. Keep a record of all your negative thoughts. It doesn’t matter whether you feel they are not realistic or silly.
The most opportune time for you to do this is at the moment of time you are experiencing a certain behavior and write down all the negative thoughts that enter your mind.
- Recognize the behavior that is causing your Self Sabotaging actions: Ask yourself the following questions.
- Is there something causing you to feel the way you do about succeeding in the particular task that you want to accomplish. Because you know that you could do it if you could just get started.
- Do you find yourself frustrated, and is this what is keeping you from starting the task that would like to accomplish?
- What are the things you usually fail at for some unknown reason?
- What are some of your goals that you have had for some time that you have not accomplished, and may not even know why?
- Are there areas that you tend to procrastinate in or keep putting off doing?
- Do you experience a lack of motivation that keeps you from something that you want to accomplish?
By asking the above questions of yourself will help you find the answer to why you are sabotaging yourself.
- Develop behaviors that are self supporting: Once you have identified and overcome the bogus rationalization causing your self sabotaging behavior you will be free to start rebuilding self confidence in yourself. It is now time to ask yourself the following questions.
- What can I speak to myself that will be encouraging and positive?
- Do I have any options, and are there more then one way to accomplish the goal I am trying to achieve?
- Try setting much smaller goals, and tackle them one at a time. Then when you have achieved them you can move on to your bigger goals, one by one. You soon will see that you are completing goals now that you were unable to complete before.
So What Can We Do To Not Be Afraid of Failure?
We must realize that in all things that we do, there is always the chance that we may not succeed, and even fail. But if you face that chance of failure, and embody it you will experience a much more rewarding and fuller life. Really!
Let’s go over some of the things that you can do to reduce the fear of failing
- Try to analyze all the possible outcomes of your task: So many of us experience the Fear of Failure because we have a fear of the unknown, or of that which is totally new to us. If we could rid ourselves of that fear by examining all of the possible scenarios of our decisions, it would also rid us of many of the fears that we are experiencing.
- Teach ourselves to think in a more positive manor: This is so very important because positive thinking is such a fantastic tool to build up our self confidence, thus eliminating our self sabotaging tendencies.
- Try setting goals: Start out with small very achievable goals that are not to difficult to meet. Goals are the vehicle that helps us to chart our course and give us the path to reach the success we are striving for. With out goals we have no way of tracking where we are in achieving our final destination.
- Set up a contingent plan: Have an alternate plan in place, this will help you to feel more positive about moving forward. It doesn’t hurt to have it in the back of your mind that you do not intend to have to use it.
Just move forward one small step at a time by setting small goals, and get comfortable with what you have achieved so far. Then move just a little more forward by setting a goal just a little more challenging. When you do this you will not get over whelmed. This is where you’ll begin to see that you are no longer experiencing the Fear of Failure. And what a great feeling that is!
PS: I realize that this post was a little lengthily, but it was necessary so that you would see just how serious this problem is, and receive a little help in understanding how to conquer it.
I wish to thank you for visiting my site, and taking the time out of your busy schedule to read this post. I appreciate it very much.
Pleas leave any comments that you may have below. It will be greatly appreciated.